What happens in the aftermath of a crisis?
There are 3 potientals:
No change: you are no worse after the negative event, instead you are stuck where you started
Negative change: you are propelled into more negativity after the crisis
Positive change: you become strengthened after the crisis
Post Traumatic Growth or Adversarial Growth: What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.
This can be seen in many groups of people but take for instance breast cancer survivors. After defeating cancer, most survivors report an increased sense of strength, compassion, spirituality, and life satisfaction.
According to the researchers who study this phenomena, “it appears that it is not the type of event per se that influences postraumatic growth, but rather the subjective experience of the event. In other words, the people who can most successfully get themselves up off the mat are those who define themselves not by what has happened to them, but by what they can make out of what has happened. These are the people who actually use adversity to find the path forward. They speak not just of bouncing back but of bouncing forward.”
If you have experienced a hurtful event, or if you have come head to head with failure, it is possible for you to use it a fuel.
How we choose to explain the nature of past events has crucial impact on our happiness and future success. People with [this] interpret adversity as being local and temporary (It's not that bad, and it will get better) while those with pessimistic explanatory style see these events as more global and permanent (It's really bad, and it's never going to change).
I think it's safe to say bad things have happened to all of us. Divorce, death, illness, tragedy occur, sometimes at a moment's notice, leaving us to feel sad, angry or hopeless. Can you think back to a particular negative moment or situation in your life? How did you handle it then? What were the long term effects of that event?
Did you learn a lesson from it? Or did it bury you?
Crisis can be a catalyst for change and growth. Many people who first come in to counseling come because they are in crisis or feel like they've hit rock bottom. It's at this point that amazing things can happen. Please don't let setbacks keep you down, instead let adversity help you become happier, more motivated and more successful.
Counseling can help you turn your downs into upward momentum. For questions or help, please contact me.