The new issue of Psychology Today focuses on Love and Lust. For example, the magazine discusses about the following specific topics:
How are the sex lives of married individuals different than singles?
What factors increase the likelihood of more sex?
What is one of the biggest reasons for unhappy marriages?
Instead of completely summarizing each article, I will provide you with the main points discussed along with any supporting statistics or facts. Further, here is a link to the article if you are interested in a more in depth look into that topic.
Sex and Marriage
Childolatry is a term used in the magazine and means:
- Worship of one's children at the expense of one's marriage
- Why parenthood today kills sex and creates marital dissatisfaction
Thanks to television sitcoms and movies, the majority of people have been persuaded to believe that our sex lives dwindle once we say 'I do.'
However, actual research shows that that is not the case. In fact, married individuals are 5 times more likely to have sex 2 to 3 times a week than singles.
Sex frequency is higher in relationships in which there is mutual respect. One indicator of mutual respect in a relationship? Shared household chores. Specifically, frequency increases when the male does more “masculine” chores such as paying the bills and doing yard work.
Children and Marriage
More than a 100 studies show that relationship satisfaction plummets once the first child is born and does not get better until the last child leaves for college. In fact, couples with children tend to treat one another with more contempt and hostility, as well as less affection, humor and empathy. But why and how can it be stopped?
- Mothers tend to put sole focus on the children's needs, leaving the husband's needs behind.
- Women tend to feel less sexual, as their hormones are focused on bonding with the newborn and providing him or her with nutrition
- Through the preschool and elementary years, more parents feel the need to entertain their children. That is, date nights take a back seat to soccer games, PTA meetings and sleep overs.
Don't fall into this statistic! One effective way to avoid this from happening to your relationship is keeping your and your partner's relationship a priority. Having a planned date night is not selfish, it is necessary to connect.
( I want to emphasize that this article is not to talk you out of having children. It is just to provide you with information in order to prevent it from happening to your relationship. It is quite possible to have children and to have a very happy relationship.)